ALyXaNdRiA_BaRBiE (the Sexiest Spy of the Underworld)

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The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for deeds left undone...

I never knew I’d say it one day that I can personally attest to that quote being true. My paternal grandmother died recently and it really broke my heart.

I never even got to tell her how much I loved her and how grateful I was to her for loving me that much. She showed me her love in every way possible. She spoiled me terribly and tanned my hide when I needed it. (Can I say that? Tan my hide? Is that even a girly expression?)

She was in every piano and ballet recital I’ve had when I was younger... like a true doting grandparent. She had been a really big part of my life and I can’t believe that she’s really gone now.

My grandmother had the best fashion sense for a woman her age that I know of… and she was a great seamstress, too. She used to make some of my clothes some years past. I can safely say she loved dressing me up. And they were amazing, frilly dresses… fit for princesses.

She used to teach and when I was a child, she used to take me to the school where she taught and made me sit in her class.

She was the first one who taught me how to read at age four. Because of her, I had learned to love reading, and it had taken me to wonderful, beautiful places, and I am so grateful for that. She was the one who taught me to write, too. My grandmother had a very nice penmanship.

My grandmother was fiercely loyal to family and friends alike. She raised her children with an iron fist along with overflowing love. Mama Tina never beat around the bush. When she didn't like a person, she either told them what was on her mind or simply avoid talking to them altogether. She gave a new meaning to the word tactless, but it was in an adorable way. Well, we never stayed mad at her for long... she was just too funny. I loved listening to her laugh because it was an honest kind of laugh.

One of the things I can’t forget about my grandmother was the way she talked to me. Like I was her equal… She’d share things with me; reminisce about her childhood and tell me things about her life. Not even my parents did that… talk to me, I mean. Like really talk to me. And she listened. When I had things to share, secrets to divulge, glories and victories to relate, she was there. She always listened.

There were times when she’d tell me stories about the hardship of life when she was younger (that was during World War II and there were Japanese soldiers swarming in Leyte)… and she had told me how she had to stay strong to survive along with her family. She was such a great woman, my grandmother. She had faced adversity and survived. She raised seven children and sent them all to college. She pinched, and she saved, and she worked hard, and she survived through it all. Her children are all professionals: engineers, a doctor, another one who works at the hospital and a businessman.

And she had always believed in me. Always. She was really proud of me; and she showed me and told me in a hundred different ways. I can’t even remember if I told her how much I appreciated her. I hope she knew that… or that wherever she might be now, she’d know that. I loved her and really appreciated her. When I started working and was able to buy her better presents than the ones I gave her when I was younger, it made me feel very happy. Making her happy made me happy. She always liked my gifts. I loved her so much. So much.

She was such a strong, larger-than-life woman that I never expected her to die at age 87. I miss her so much. She died weeks ago (June 8), and yet I still cry when I think about her. I pray that she rest in peace.

I love you Mama Tina

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