ALyXaNdRiA_BaRBiE (the Sexiest Spy of the Underworld)

@>----

MEN'S RULES AND REASONINGS!

This is a mail forwarded by my cousin, I find it really funny, hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules: (please note: these are all numbered 1 ON PURPOSE)

1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Do not try to change that.
1. Learn to work a toilet seat. You are a big girl. If it is up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You do not hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturdays = sports. It is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. JUST SAY IT!
1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.
if something we said can be interpreted 2 ways, and if one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not BOTH.
1. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. And we have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want to hear the answer to, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, sports, or cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really do not mind that? It is like camping.

Previous Posts