ALyXaNdRiA_BaRBiE (the Sexiest Spy of the Underworld)

"It's the good girls who write in a diary, the bad girls don't have time. Me? I just want a life I am going to remember, even if I don't write it down."

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I can't understand why most people here in France aren't eagerly awaiting the release of the last Harry Potter book... people in London were so eager to talk about it when I went there during Christmas break!!

Anyway, there's no accounting for taste (in clothes, men, or... books)... I can't wait to get my hands on the last book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!!!! I hope it will be released very soon...

ALyXaNdRiA |

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I posted this in my old blog: alyxandriabarbie.blogspot.com last Oct. 1, 2004 and i thought i'd repost it!

I have never been in any serious relationships. I swear! I balk at the word commitment. I find it extremely freaky to date the same guy more than once that I think I might break out in a sweat or puke my guts out if ever I'd be in that situation. And yet, from my vantage viewpoint, I have collected information and have gotten my fair share of ideas on how to keep a man and light his fire. That caught your interest girls, didn't it? ;0)

Ok, pardon me for being verbatim, for quoting exactly what most books and people say, but this is oh-so-true. The first principle in making a love relationship work is to love a man for who he is, not what you fantasize he should or could be. Do you realize that most men marry or ask a woman to be his lover or girlfriend and hope that she would never change, and women marry the man or agree to be his lover or mate and hope that he would change for the better? Ironic, isn't it? :)

The majority of men I have befriended shared that they had been captivated with those special women who made them feel stronger, more capable, more intelligent, sexier or more knowledgeable than they had felt about themselves before these women came into their lives.

I had this friend whom I'll nickname Patrick who was really quiet and withdrawn and he had told me that he had been a loner before he met his girlfriend whom I'll call Marie. He said Marie always commented that she liked his calm nature. He said Marie has a volatile personality and she would always tell him that being with him makes her feel calmer and more peaceful. And her confession made him feel good about himself and made him open up to her. I had this other friend I'll call Mark. He's the touchy-feely kind. You know, the type who can't keep his hands off the girl he's dating. He told me that he recently found a new girlfriend, Jill, who really made him feel wanted. He said Jill didn't label him a flirt or thinks he's like an octopus, like what most of his previous girls commented ... Jill told him over a romantic dinner one night that she thinks he's very affectionate and passionate and it made him feel normal and special at the same time.

Are you beginning to get my drift? Men fall in love with those special women because of the way those women made them feel about themselves when they're with them. Ok, it sounds like a mouthful so I'll explain it in short bursts. When a woman brings out the best in a man, he feels good about himself, and when he feels good about himself when he's with that woman, he would really like to see more of that woman and spend more time with her. When a woman starts to nag and point out a man's faults, the man starts to veer away from the discussion and the woman herself ... and that's when they go and seek comfort from other women. Wow! I sound like a shrink, don't I? :)

How exactly do you make a man feel good about himself? Well, this is what I've observed:Men enjoy being complimented as much as women do. Some men might brush it off as something insignificant when you tell him you like his haircut, or say his shirt makes him look cuter than he usually is, but he really notices it ... and what's more ... he will remember it.When you and your man go shopping ... ok, fine! When you drag your man to go shopping and you ask for his opinion on what dress would suit you, please don't ignore his choices. If you don't like the dress he chose, tell him "wow! you have really good taste honey, but I need something that will make me feel more human." hehehe :) Oh and, when he kisses you, act like you really like it and tell him that he's a good kisser. But that's only when you want to keep the guy, then you can teach him how to be a better kisser later on, that is, if he's really lousy. Since I don't like to date the same guy twice (which means kiss the same guy again), what I usually do is tell him bluntly that he needs improvement, or ask him how many girls he's kissed and if he's learned from any of those experiences ... kinda harsh, I know, but it's a way of fending of unwanted suitors in the future. But what am I thinking? I'm here to write about keeping a man, not turning him away. (I've only wanted one guy to kiss me again and again and you all know who that guy is so I'll refrain from mentioning his name here to save space.)

Oh no! I forgot about the first date. Ok, on your first date with that special guy, take your time in getting ready and look your best. As in take your time ... don't rush things because it will make you feel really nervous. When you converse with the guy, you look him in the eye. You laugh when he says something witty ... a sexy lady's laugh, not the kind of boisterous laughter you usually hear from me. Hehehe :) Oh and, guys nowadays don't think like the guys in the dark ages ... a guy would want to converse with a girl who, at least, knows something. So sharpen your wit and spar words with your guy, he'll love it and thinks it's sexy. Never give your life history on the first date ... just something that will keep his interest and tell him you'll tell him more next time. *hint hint* Try and ask him what he likes for pete's sakes! Show your interest by asking questions about himself. Not all guys are arrogant and self-centered like some of the guys I've gone out with who did nothing but talk about their resumes on dates. Ho-hum ... who wants to go out with guys like that? Duh! Ok, let's go back to that compliment-your-guy part. It's something us girls usually neglect doing. This is what you do, when your guy enjoys working out, tell him it's great that he's in good shape and takes pride in his body. I've seen one of my girlfriends do this and I swear, I've seen the guy melt right in front of her, that's when I knew I'd store that info for future use. ;0) If he does things for you, tell him how nice it is to have him around. Etc.-Etc. You get the picture?

Oh, by the way, I've read this somewhere and I think you'd all benefit from this:"Remember, your love, to some degree, is a measure to a man's worth. Become a woman who is indespensable to your man and his self image and you will be a woman to whom a man feels deeply committed." There, isn't it cute? :)

And here's another one, "God gave us two ears and only one mouth, which means we are supposed to listen twice as much as we are supposed to talk, otherwise, we should have been given two mouths and one ear." So listen to your man when he talks. There is just as much value in listening as there is in speaking. Someone who is different from you has as much value as you do. "If two people agree on everything, then one of them is not necessary in the relationship." So what I mean by listening doesn't necessarily mean that you don't voice out your opinion about things. Hell! I'd be the first person to disobey my own rules if I get to have a guy who won't let me talk. I'm a talker, don't you know!!! ;0)

Oh and, create memories with him. He might find it a nuisance that you interrupted him during his meeting to tell him you love him and you enjoyed your night out last night or he might find it irritating that you've kidnapped him in the middle of the day so you can spend the afternoon together at some cute place somewhere, but trust me, he will really appreciate it and bring a smile to his face when he looks back on it. :)

Oh, here's another quote I've read somewhere "True romance is making a decision to let your mate know in many ways that he means more to you than anyone else in the world." Jeez, this one sounds really hard for me to do. I don't even think I can do it ... I do things based on my own decisions. Whew!! I didn't know it's this difficult to keep a guy until I made this list ... there's even more but this is already long. Girls, it takes hard work, but if you want to keep your guy, then there's no harm in trying what I mentioned, is there? :) I wish Nicole Kidman could have read this before she and Tom got divorced ... or Demi Moore for that matter. Liz Taylor is a hopeless case.

ALyXaNdRiA |

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I posted this in my old blog: alyxandriabarbie.blogspot.com last Oct. 1, 2004 and i thought i'd repost it!

Ok... today, I would like to talk about "Happiness" for i know it's something very significant to all of us. I think that most people find happiness an elusive word it makes unhappy individuals crave it all the more. On the other hand, I see some people blessed with happiness that it makes me wonder "Hot damn! How do they do it?", "Is there a secret to it?", "What would it take to make me happy?" Then I remembered Leo Tolstoy's words: "If you want to be happy, be."

It sounds very simple, isn't it? But it's very hard to do. Sometimes, most people's facades give a semblance of happiness, some project a happy and contented countenance, but are they really happy? Or are they just trying very hard to make people see what they want to feel inside?At my age (which is still quite young, I assure you), with the help of my outgoing personality, I have met and gotten to know many people in different walks of life, with diverse lifestyles and varied ages, and I have observed and noticed that many people build prisons for themselves.

You see, I have seen, known and met people who weren't happy with the kind of lifestyle they were leading and the kind of jobs they were stuck with, and yet ... they never tried doing anything about it. They didn't try going out there and seek for something that will make them fulfilled, satisfied and happy. They've remained in the prison walls they've built for themselves.I think it must be because they've occupied their prisons for a period of time and they had gotten accustomed to their walls and they had accepted the false premise that that was all they wanted. They were secure, therefore they were happy.Some of the people I've talked to didn't like the lifestyle they were leading, and yet they didn't try to do something to correct it. Some didn't like the jobs they've had, and yet, they didn't try to find something more challenging, more fulfilling, simply because they were scared of venturing into the unknown. I've met some who didn't like living with their families or their in-laws, and yet, i didn't see them doing anything to change that.

I have noticed that most people have simply abandoned all hope of ever giving their dreams a chance to be fulfilled. They had become puppets and had mistaken security for fulfillment and happiness. They began to suffer living deaths. Which is a waste ... a big waste.

I had wanted to tell them that it may be praise-worthy and noble that they had sacrificed their lives to a business, a cause or the happiness of others, but if they were miserable and unfulfilled with whatever they were doing, then remaining in it was a hypocrisy and a lie. And it would be a long, empty and sad existence to look back on.

I should know because I had been there. I had known what it's like to be unhappy; had known what it's like to be imprisoned in a lifestyle I had wanted to get away from, which I did, thank God.I had been unhappy in my own prison walls that I had done everything imaginable to claw my way out of it; had done something really drastic it took me years to forgive myself. My fear of the unknown, my lack of self-confidence and my low self-esteem were the culprit.

I've shared my past with my family and friends, my close friends, and they knew what I had gone through, they knew how difficult it was for me to get lose, the buckets of tears I've shed trying to think of something to escape ... and I had.I want to thank my family and my friends, the old friends and the new ones I've met, for they have shown me that all was not lost and as a way of showing my gratitude, I am posting this so that whoever might stumble on this story might just benefit from it and will feel secure in the knowledge that there are people who have escaped their own emotional prisons and are now leading normal and happy lives. We should live life to the fullest because we only live once. What a waste it would be to look back one day with regret in your heart. If you want to travel, then save money so you can go. If you want to change jobs, then do it. If you want to ask somebody to marry you, then ask them. There's always a risk to everything ... but at least you can say to yourself you had tried your best, then you won't be dwelling on "what ifs."

Furthermore, I would like to say that in every endeavor you do, always accompany it with prayers. Prayers can really help and they can be very relaxing to the soul. This, coming from somebody who seldom go to church.I remembered a text message my father sent to me once, it said: "God will either give you what you ask for or something far better. Keep praying and be thankful that His answers are always wiser than your prayers." And that's exactly what I did to get out of my own emotional prison ... I tried my best and kept praying. I still do.

ALyXaNdRiA |